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He slept in the bathtub because there wasn't a chair and he was too stoned to leave.I agree, this is about as straight-forward a little tale as could be.
"We talked until 2 (a.m., because they are nervous, and trying to get to know one another at least a little, so it won't feel so much like a one night stand, or that you're going to bed with a stranger), and then she said, it's time for bed". I think this is where they are having sex, but he obviously cannot say that, so music is playing instead, courtesy of the wonderfully talented George!Also, is this whole thing (having a sexual affair) a good idea?"She asked me to stay and she told me to sit anywhere" Again, it's what you do when you invite a guy to your place, i.e., anywhere you want is fine; no big deal).As it is, the phrase indicates that the words "the fire" refer to a specific fire that the listener would already know about in this house or apartment, such as what would be in a fireplace.
The Beetles did have a sardonic relationship with their fans, so Paul's sarcastic comment that it was about John torching the place of a girl refused him was clearly hyperbole about John's skill in bedding women. Someone who can essentially seduce anyone he wants isn't going to be so upset at a frustrating evening that he torches a woman's home for not putting out. What's really important is to listen to the lyrics as sung, not as assumed."So I looked around and I noticed there wasn't a chair." Being sarcastic/funny: "why did you tell me to sit, if you haven't got a chair?