Dating with aspergers
Do we just name and shame them on a website so other women can avoid? I had to ‘train’ my spouse to reply to me when I tell him I love him. Yet I am the one that has to handle everything and there is never someone there to help me.
And what about the issue of being a man enough to confess you are an aspie, on the first or second date? This is a psych condition that badly hurts women like me, after all. For a long time I pushed aside my friends when it came to social outings since my husband always seemed so awkward at these events.
Difference is, I won’t be a victim, nor will I be broken down, life’s too short to deal with assholes, no matter what their hangup is… That’s impossible and would require losing most of the characteristics that make us human, that allow us to connect to others.” ♦ esterday, my aspie spouse started yelling at me in the car. And (cardinal sin that it is), I tried to share said feelings. He made me believe we were on the same page about the future.
Just because you clueless dumbasses don’t mean to hurt someone, doesn’t mean that you don’t. My life is devastated from one of these un-empathetic, desolate wasteland-of-emotions people. What started the argument was, of course, my fault. After marriage, he lost interest in sex after three or four weeks and made it clear he did not want children.
I’m also disabled so I’m dependent upon my as partner. Others outside the relationship not only disbelieve me but see my partner being an angel of mercy for caring for me. He didn’t ask how I was, talk to me, or even engage. He looked at me with wide-eyed innocence and asked, ‘What’s wrong with you? He just didn’t get it or understand why that had anything to do with him or why he had any responsibility there. I’m not a good wife for not ‘enduring.’ I understand that. It’s been 15 years and I am EXHAUSTED.” ♦ he aspie may not be able to help that he only sees things from his own perspective, due to his brain wiring. The most difficult thing I’ve had to endure is married life with someone who only worries only about himself and doesn’t even really know me or his children.
He just sat there, glazed over, and ate his food while playing computer games. This means, in my situation, that he will believe I am always wrong anytime we disagree. I can accept that it is pointless to try and share my perspective or ever reach mutual understanding.” ♦ here is zero desire to hear the other person’s perspective (of course). I am by far the main care giver and feel I have raised the kids on my own.” ♦ ow I realize that there must be many many exhausted, isolated, deeply sad women out there trying to cope with a very difficult situation alone, because so few understand.
I learnt the hard way what Asperger Syndrome was.” ♦ e struggle every day with this apparent arrogance they portray and our own sense of powerlessness to influence them to consider our perspective, comment or suggestion as valid or acceptable, and so we become silent. At that time I knew all about the Asperger’s arrogance and uncontrollable urge to belittle anyone who didn’t have his special knowledge and didn’t share his opinions. Enduring repetitive verbal abuse and witnessing adult tantrums has become a routine event. He denies to this day that he has done anything wrong…
It was exposed to me almost every day and I had trained myself not to pay attention because it was too stressful for me. He did not respond to my requests to stop, but increased the cruel verbal abuses. I called our friend; the only person who knew the truth. He never expressed any remorse.” ♦ have lived with an AS spouse for 14 years. AS individuals learn coping behaviors that allow them to ‘act’ their way through social situations and personal intimacy, but that they don’t actually invest any feelings or emotions in them. He is a high-achieving professional but lacked the capacity to understanding that his actions and words were deeply damaging.
You people have no idea what it feels like to be on the receiving end of your so called “love”. To have another adult to talk to is worth more than anything.” ♦ fter 23 years of marriage to an AS husband who is a good provider and basically decent person, all I can say is “DON’T DO IT. You may love this person, but unless you also despise yourself, you need to leave the relationship as far behind you as possible.” ♦ y husband was diagnosed with Asperger’s a little over a year ago.I cannot get him to move out—he just keeps coming up with excuses why he can’t. I had a life once.” ♦ lost my hair, I lost my home, my friends, family, health, career… If I could remove all emotional desire from myself, then I would be able to do this. That has to be one of the weirder prayers that has gone before the throne of God. The pastor said that sometimes our enemies are in our own families. As an example, when I was pregnant with our first daughter, I was put on bed rest for the last few weeks of my pregnancy due to an inability to walk from pelvic instability. He’s selfish, rude, he throws tantrums like a four year old to get his way, he’s deceitful, and manipulative to make sure he gets his way, he takes forever to get his task done and he ignores me and never talks to me.