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And even when we say we don't want husbands and kids, sometimes we stand in line behind that shopping cart with the happy family and unruly kid who is about to steal something and secretly think, "I want that some day". I know that since we are good friends (what is it 10 years & counting now? From: Some Chick Date: 1/18/06I was sleep, still waiting on the B complex vitamins to kick in, I'm out like a light after 9pm. Anxious to drop off this calendar I've been working on.

But we brush those thoughts out of our minds in favor of reading the latest gossip. ), if I was speaking to you about what went on between us (ironic that you said in our conversation since you made it a point to never call it "a relationship", but now chose to...), if it wasn't you I was talking about, you would've told me to ditch that person. In fact and i'm being absolutely honest, I look at and listen to these chicks like damn, I can't wait to talk to lata and see her again.

The one thing my dad didn't do when my mom left, was say bad things about her. I remember when I broke up with (If you didn't look good, he didn't look good. Yeah Yeah Yeah From: Some Chick Date: 1/23/06Yes Daddy I know. Love Bastard Date: 1/24/06I know this was yesterday's but class is cool. I'm sorry about last night but shaving took a lil longer than I expected. From: Some Chick Date: 1/24/06I think so, it would be alot of fun. You haven't even touched me yet and im in the bushes on a niggerette. Love Bastard Date: 1/25/06I be waching you from outside your crib.

Are you telling me that you had been in the garage for two years? I want to have a relationship with her; but I want it to be based on truth."What happened? I've put the treadmill that I bought for my birthday into heavy use. I'm gonna be better, stronger, faster and most importantly hotter. You always talkin bout stalking, got me playing the stalker. Love Bastard And just how do you think you're stalking me? Love Bastard Date: 1/25/06Although you dont answer I continue to call and leave messages.

I resigned myself to hearing the next thing about her was that she died. I wanted to write about how the when I revisited some of the trying episodes of my past here, the comments from the readers made me feel better. You got me addicted to emails and phone calls now (from you of course). From: Some Chick Date: 1/30/06Good morning Redbone.

But I stopped talking to you years ago, because all you could tell me about when you left was that it wasn't 2.5 years -""I'm getting older. I'm going to die soon." She starts crying."Ma, I would love to have a relationship with you." I don't know if I really meant that, especially since my dad died I resigned myself to never speak to her again. Because you can't admit what happened, then so be it.""It wasn't 2 years. I have a three way phone let's call him and find out.""Ok, lets! It's 4 in the morning.""No right now, because if you don't start telling me what happened this is the last time that we will be speaking.""Not right now.""Ma, good night."This is not the post I wanted to be my return to blogging post.

We drink away the pain behind smiling faces and we date men who are wrong for us. And even when we are The Prettiest Ones we wish to be prettier, funnier, cooler, smarter, just anything more than we are now.

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And even though others look at us and think that we have it it all under control, we know deep down that something missing. I could act like I wasn't hurt by you not calling me back to finish what I considered an important conversation - but it would only be an act.

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